No One Likes Being Put Down

Q: Right now I’m really struggling with self esteem. I try to tell myself it doesn’t matter what others think or what others say, but I still get self conscious. I want to stand out and speak my mind, but as soon as I make up my mind to say something, a voice in my head tells me that others will think I’m silly so I back down. Any suggestions?


No one likes being put down. I have learned that what someone says or does says way more about them and their character than it says about you!

It’s important for you to decide whether or not you will allow your worries of what others think stop you from being who you truly are. As long as you are being respectful to yourself and others, choosing to be true to who you are is so important. Being yourself, regardless of other people’s opinions is not always easy, especially in your school years – but it’s possible!

People will have their opinions but in the end you have the final say in what you choose to believe about yourself.  Making choices that honour who you are will help you ‘bounce back’ from the insecurity you are feeling.

It’s also important to remember that those who put you down for your beliefs and your values are not friends nor are they people you would want to hang out with. True friends accept you. One true friend is worth so much more than many friends who don’t accept You for You.

Focusing so much on what people think of you, can actually stop you from being your unique self. 

One way to bounce back from worrying about what others think is to replace all your negative, non-supportive thoughts with positive UPower thoughts. (UPower is your personal power to choose your actions, reactions and beliefs regardless of the circumstances.)

Here’s how to create your UPower thought:

  • Write your UPower thought. Start with the words ‘I choose ____’ and fill in the blank with what it is you want to believe about you. (e.g. I choose to be confident and share my thoughts respectfully).  At first your brain might tell you, ‘No you don’t! Plus, what will others think of you?’ but keep choosing to replace that negative voice in your mind with your UPower thought.
  • Every time the thought of ‘what will people think of me?’enters your mind – replace that worry with your UPower thought.
  • Keep With It! The more you read it, think it and say it – the more your brain will believe it and the stronger your confidence will grow.

Until next time…